Civility in Public Discourse

God of all, we pray for poll workers, county clerks, and election officials. We pray that you will be with them as they raise their hand and pledge to honor the constitution. Give them a peace that reflects your Spirit within them. Grant them, dear Father, the integrity and honesty that comes from a desire to be fair and impartial as they assist fellow neighbors and citizens in this expression of freedom we hold dear. Bless them with health and rest so that they can carry out their duties with clear thinking, accuracy, and attention to detail.

Former President Safe After What F.B.I. Describes as an Assassination Attempt

The other week, while on vacation, my two youngest kids and I were happily soaking in our hotel’s hot tub. Across from us was a swimming pool, which two girls, aged five and 15, entered. Their mother sat nearby.

Immediately, a large young man in his early twenties beelined toward the girls. He seemingly had a mild developmental disability, but he was also being intentionally aggressive. While splashing them, he began loudly asking highly personal questions. Their mother didn’t react.

The other parents and I were getting off the school bus, when I heard a comment that I thought would be the start of an argument. We had been shuttled upriver to retrieve our vehicles and the canoe trailer after spending the morning paddling downstream. One dad was mocking another: “Are you sure your truck is big enough? Maybe you need something bigger.” The truck in question was as big as they come. It had after-market tires and a lift kit, which meant that a sort of jump step was required to reach the door. 

"Here is my servant, whom I uphold, my chosen one in whom I delight; I will put my Spirit on him and he will bring justice to the nations. He will not shout or cry out, or raise his voice in the streets. A bruised reed he will not break, and a smoldering wick he will not snuff out. In faithfulness he will bring forth justice; he will not falter or be discouraged till he establishes justice on earth.” (Isaiah 42: 1-4a)

By now you’ve probably seen the meme about Jesus’ greatest miracle—that he had 12 best friends in his 30s– apparently first told by John Mulaney on SNL. The memes that make their rounds do so because their relatableness and candor make them both funny AND true. As a person in their 30s with friends in their 30s, we have all laughed at this meme and attested to this great miracle. But why is it so difficult to have close friends as you age?

“Well, I see we will have to agree to disagree.” 

I was out having coffee with a friend a little while ago when the subject of vaccination status came up. Perplexed by their stance, I approached the conversation cautiously optimistic, asking questions to genuinely understand their perspective. 

This time, I went into the conversation to listen and understand, not to change their mind (Read: I’ve entered a-many conversations trying to air my opinions because I was “right” or because they didn’t understand me– not listening to understand but listening so I could be heard.)

Chicago made up its mind about me. As a kid, I took weekly trips downtown and watched people of every hue. Wandering through Marshall Field department store, I noticed the security guards who kept a close eye on me. These guards made up their minds about me. I remembered pressing my face against clear window panes of expensive stores along State Street, none of the white faces ever made eye contact with me during the Christmas season. However, one yuletide season, my sister Rebecca and I stood beside a white Santa and I sat on his lap unsure what to think about this.