Christ's Mindset and The Whale

I’m an artist and I love painting narrative-laden surreal landscapes.

The image of the sperm whale is a recurring motif in my artwork. Its mysterious qualities and daily practices fascinate me. Its survival is dependant on holding its breath and diving very deep, almost three thousand feet below the ocean's surface, to wrestle the giant squid: its sustenance.

The image of the sperm whale is a recurring motif in my artwork.

There’s an undocumented but assumed epic battle that occurs between them, evidenced only by the scars on the whale when it resurfaces. I think these underwater battles are similar to coping with hurt. In order to be strong again, we need to face the depths of hurt and the people who create it.

There’s an undocumented but assumed epic battle that occurs between them.

As a woman of colour and an elder in the CRC’s Eastern Canada classis, I’ve had to wrestle with blatant racism. This has meant challenging those who, consciously or unconsciously, perpetuate racism, as well as myself, to speak up against it.

I’ve learned that confrontation and difficult conversations, though they wound further, have to happen. The sperm whale must dive deep in order to resurface and breathe again. My art tells stories of my experiences with racism in the church. Safely.

As a woman of colour and an elder in the CRC’s Eastern Canada classis, I’ve had to wrestle with blatant racism.

I recently had an experience at a Classis meeting that forced me to make that deep internal dive to process the racism I experienced. This occurred on the heels of Lent and I was challenged by my pastor’s sermon series on Paul’s letter to the Philippians 2:5:

“In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus.”

The timing of listening to this passage during Lent, which is a time to remember Jesus’ introspection, prayer, and endurance in the wilderness, encouraged me to connect Jesus’ endurance it to what mindset meant. Jesus had to dive deep inside himself and pray and trust that this injustice of what he was about to face was going to all make sense. He endured temptation to control the situation, trusted, showed love and forgave. Jesus’ example and the Philippians passage inspired me to have strength, show love, name injustice, trust the process, and forgive. The timing of listening to this passage during Lent, a time to remember Jesus’ introspection, prayer, and endurance in the wilderness, encouraged me to connect Jesus’ endurance it to what mindset meant. Jesus had to dive deep inside himself and pray and trust that this injustice of what he was about to face was going to all make sense. He endured temptation to control the situation, trusted, showed love, and forgave.  

The timing of listening to this passage during Lent encouraged me to connect Jesus’ endurance it to what mindset meant.

But how am I going to do this? I asked myself.

So I lamented...and painted...and prayed...and fasted...and created.

Like that sperm whale’s practice of diving and re-surfacing, lamenting and healing became a routine. Trying to attain the mindset of Christ that Paul encourages the Philippians towards also take practice. Diving deep into one’s internalized feelings is important and necessary. I see my pain as sustenance for developing resilience, deepening empathy, lovingly naming hurt, and strengthening my hope for a less racist Church.

I see my pain as sustenance for developing resilience.

If I didn’t have the ability to express my feelings in painting, I think I’d still be angry and offended.

If I wasn’t able to express my experience of white fragility metaphorically, I think I’d feel stuck.

If I wasn’t able to symbolically depict how I sometimes feel being a brown woman in the CRC, I’d be invisible.

If I couldn't imagine being a flying whale in an unfamiliar environment, I wouldn't have made it through Classis meetings as a female person of colour.

If I couldn’t show the impossible in images, I would accept being treated poorly.

For me, making art brings me closer to the mindset of Christ.

For me, making art brings me closer to the mindset of Christ. What brings you close to the mindset of Christ?

[Image: Priya Andrade]