Words of Safety

Words are powerful. With God’s mighty power, He only had to speak the words, “Let there be light” for light to be created into existence. While not as powerful as our Lord Almighty, the words we use are also impactful, filled with meaning and associations. Used with good intentions, they can evoke powerful emotion, inspiration, courageous action, and provide support and healing. They can be a vehicle for praise and contrition, discipleship and sharing of the Gospel.

When naming a ministry that works to increase awareness of and response to abuse in the Christian Reformed church, the word ‘safe’ was used. While now known as Thrive, it was previously known as Safe Church Ministry. The Merriam Webster dictionary defines safe as, “free from harm or risk; secure from threat of danger, harm, or loss.” The word safe then seems an appropriate word to use for such a ministry. While the ministry’s goal is for all churches to be free from all harm and risk, it can seem impossible to completely reduce the risk to zero while still living in a broken world, affected by sin. For that reason, the Thrive has shifted focus from safe church to “safer churches” as we collectively work toward reducing the risk of harm and abuse as much as possible. 

This year's Abuse Awareness Sunday theme also revolves around the word safe. The focus this year is ‘Safe People, Safe Congregations’ and is based on Galatians 5:22-23. It emphasizes that safe people and safe congregations are composed of individuals who model and display the fruit of the Spirit, which consist of: love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Interestingly enough, the word safe or protective isn’t listed here, but these fruits of the Spirit all contribute to being a safe person and the command to protect, and to provide safety can be found all over scripture. Just because the word safe isn’t listed as a fruit of the Spirit doesn’t mean it isn’t important to God. Here are just a few examples of God’s word to protect us, save us, and keep us safe. 

The word ‘safe’ is used often in our local safe church ministries, and is seen throughout both the Old Testament and the New Testament, but what exactly does a safe church leader look like to congregants? To answer that question, I decided to reach out to different congregants, both within local safe church ministries and those who’ve never been involved with abuse prevention and asked them to provide words they associated with a safe church leader. Above is a word cloud based on all those responses. 

The words most frequently used by congregants were trustworthy, boundaries, approachable, open (to criticism), responsible, supportive, reliable, kindness, and integrity. Furthermore, of all the fruit of the Spirit, the fruit most mentioned by congregants were related to: forbearance, kindness, gentleness and self-control. Both forbearance and self-control are associated with someone who has good boundaries. One way in which a church leader can model being a safe person is by establishing, maintaining, and respecting boundaries, both their own and others. To help determine the healthiness of a church leaders’ boundaries, Thrive offers a Healthy Boundaries Test, a 10-point test meant for church leaders to assess and guide healthy boundaries in ministerial relationships. Listed below is this 10-point test. 

1. The Bullhorn or Transparency Test – How would my actions be perceived if they were made public? 
2. The Test of Fiduciary Responsibility – Whose needs are being met? Are my actions in the best interest of the one that I am ministering to? 
3. The Ministry Service Test – What ministerial service am I providing? And what is included in that ministerial service? What is not included? 
4. The Collegial Accountability and Supervision Test – How do my supervisor and colleagues respond when I report my behavior? (Am I willing to honestly share my behavior with them?) 
5. The “Do No Harm” Test – Who is put at risk by my actions? 
6. The Staying Above Reproach Test – How might my behavior be perceived by others? Am I avoiding any appearance of impropriety? 
7. The Dependency Test – How important or indispensable do I feel in this relationship? Being needed by others is a powerful form of dependency – ministry is not about me. 
8. The Dependency Test 2 – Does the person I’m ministering to show signs of emotional dependency? 
9. The Precedent Test – What kind of precedent am I setting? Am I setting a precedent or creating a culture that accepts certain behaviors that could put someone at risk. 
10. The Exception Test – Do I feel that for some reason this situation or relationship is an exception to the usual rules and limits?

I am a firm advocate of self assessment and reflection. While it can be uncomfortable to delve deep into our own thoughts and actions, I believe it is our duty as church leaders to be willing to ask ourselves hard questions to ensure we are helping to create safe churches led by safe people. Looking through this series of tests, I encourage all leaders and volunteers who work with vulnerable populations to assess their own boundaries and work towards healthier relationships that model our Savior, and display the fruit of the Spirit. Whether or not you are a church leader, a volunteer, or the occasional churchgoer, reflect on these words of safety and let us ask God to guide our relationships to better reflect love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. May the theme of ‘Safe People, Safe Congregations’ come to better fruition in our churches. 

Image generated by the author using wordclouds.com