For the past few weeks, two alarming and powerful words have filled my social media feed. Using the hashtag #MeToo, women have been breaking the silence, bravely sharing their stories and experiences of sexual harassment and assault. Since news of the countless abuse allegations against Hollywood producer Harvey Weinstein surfaced, this hashtag has spread around the world. The story moved beyond one man and became a platform for conversation around abuse of power, acts of aggression, and violence against women. This movement holds up a mirror for reflection on sexism, misogyny, and systemic injustices against girls and women.
It became more personal when I saw that many of my own friends and mentors have also experienced sexual harassment and assault.
While I watched and read the heartbreaking and empowering stories from outspoken women including celebrities, politicians, business leaders, journalists and writers, it became more personal when I saw that many of my own friends and mentors have also experienced sexual harassment and assault. I grieved at the realization that my friends have suffered in silence or been triggered by this conversation. While there are many brave women who have publicly shared #MeToo on social media, there are still others who are also affected by this trauma, but are protective of their privacy and simply not ready to tell their story to family, friends, and strangers through social media.
While it has been mainly women speaking out about sexual harassment and assault, men also have a voice and responsibility in this #MeToo conversation. John Pavlovitz, a prominent blogger, writer, and pastor from North Carolina, writes with conviction to men on the other side of #MeToo:
“No survivor of violence should be compelled to unearth their hidden scars in order to reach those responsible for them. Men, the onus should not be on women who have been harassed or assaulted, to expose themselves to further injury just to show us the scale and the depth of our own sickness. This is our responsibility. We should be the ones doing the soul excavation and the mirror-gazing, and we should be the ones now openly confessing our #MeToo’s, in these moments when the world is watching.”
Pavlovitz reminds us that it takes courage and vulnerability to share our stories and take accountability for our individual and collective actions.
While I was having a conversation with a close friend about finding churches that are speaking out about this issue, she shared her own painful experiences of sexual harassment in her home and church. In a safe space filled with love, trust, and understanding, we told our own childhood stories of harassment and how they continue to impact us. By acknowledging our experiences together, we were able to listen with compassion and support each other. This healing experience has encouraged and challenged me to move beyond a social media online engagement to a personal offline conversation.
This healing experience has encouraged and challenged me to move beyond a social media online engagement to a personal offline conversation.
As Christians, how do we create safe spaces for listening and healing with our sisters and brothers? How do we remember the pain and comfort each other, knowing that we are not alone in our story? We are called to “rejoice with those who rejoice, weep and with those who weep” (Romans 12:15). The apostle Paul believed that rejoicing and weeping with each other is one of the marks of a true Christian—together we find our true hope and strength in Christ, our Healer and Redeemer.
One of the ways that churches can respond to #MeToo is by acknowledging that this happens in churches too and engaging in these challenging discussions. In Christian Reformed churches, Safe Church Ministry is active in equipping church congregations in abuse awareness, prevention, and response. Our church in East Vancouver (First Christian Reformed Church) will be providing opportunities and time for a safe space of sharing, listening, and healing with our neighbours and members. This is a step forward in building a supportive community and journeying with each other.
Our church in East Vancouver will be providing opportunities and time for a safe space of sharing, listening, and healing with our neighbours and members.
More than ever, we need to hear the words of wisdom and truth of Ecclesiastes and be reminded that there is a time for everything: “a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance; a time to keep silence and a time to speak” (Ecclesiastes 3). In this poignant moment in our society, it’s time to speak out against sexual harassment and assault in our workplaces, schools, churches, homes, and communities. Let’s continue to carry this important conversation forward with courage, grace, and strength in our public and private spaces, and take meaningful actions toward healing, justice, and reconciliation.
Photo by Omar Lopez on Unsplash
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