What do you see?

Sometimes I travel solo and when I do, it allows me to people-watch and be more perceptive of situations around me. One such time was a trip to California this past May.

It was my first time in California so I crammed a lot into this trip. Less than 24 hours in San Diego then on to my next destination, Sacramento for a wedding. I got up early to head to the airport, my leftover sushi in tow, and breezed through the near-empty airport.  After getting a few hours of sleep I exhaustedly boarded a flight from San Diego to Sacramento, intent on catching a few z’s on my short flight. I can’t remember many details from this flight as I drifted in and out of consciousness but I do remember the young guy who occupied the window seat was kind and open. What I thought would be a short kind conversation with the older woman seated between us, turned into a full-flight meaningful connection between them. The woman even offered to put in a call to her partner-friend at a large accounting firm on this young man’s behalf. 

Later that day, I sat at the bar of a busy restaurant to have dinner. Next to me, I noticed a giddy older gentleman talking to what seemed to be his daughter. He seemed to be filling her in on what’s been going on with her other siblings. Though I feel pretty confident in saying they were father-daughter, it seemed they were just getting to build the relationship. 

There’s kindness and goodness in human beings because we have the stamp of our creator.

A short time later I was headed to the bus stop when I saw a group of teens having a good time. Another teen who was separated from the group was making a return when we saw the bus on its way to the stop. They cheered their friend on and he made it before the bus arrived but he made it known how thirsty he was. A few stops in after we boarded the bus, and ahead of schedule the bus driver needed to stop and wait a few minutes at a particular stop. The parched teen asked if he had time to run and grab some water from a nearby store. The bus driver said no, but later gave him an ice-cold bottled water from his personal stash. 

Three kind events from three random people. You might be tempted to make the inference that California is a place full of kind humans. While I don’t disagree for some reason it made me draw a different conclusion: There’s kindness and goodness in human beings because we have the stamp of our creator. We’re his image bearers, believers and non-believers alike. 

Humanity= it’s complicated. This is one of the only times I’ll accept the ‘it’s complicated’ phrase. There’s goodness and there’s depravity and there’s tension in between. I can relate to God being grieved with humanity, wanting to start over again. I understand Moses’ frustration when he returns from meeting with God to find Israel rebelling again. And yet to be human is to understand all too well, rebellion, and the wayward actions we commit and not fully know why. 

When God created humanity, he saw all of this and called it good. He knew we’d need to be redeemed and thought we were worth the price. He had a plan from the beginning. 

It’s been hard for me to remember the goodness I saw in humanity in those 24 hours in Sacramento. I’m tired and frustrated having been the recipient of what feels like injustice on many sides. And when I have been poorly treated I have a hard time holding my need for seeing justice AND my need for seeing humanity. When I’m tired, I tend to hang my head low and miss seeing the goodness. Miss seeing where God is at work. When I rely on myself, when I’m tired and worn, I want to destroy humanity, and start over. 

When Jesus delivered the sermon on the mount, he mentioned having a “good eye.”

 “Your eye is like a lamp that provides light for your body. When your eye is healthy, your whole body is filled with light. But when your eye is unhealthy, your whole body is filled with darkness. And if the light you think you have is actually darkness, how deep that darkness is!” -Matthew 6:22-23

It’s an interesting scripture in a section speaking about money and possessions. When I first heard it explained in a way that made sense to me on the BEMA podcast, I shared it with friends and was excited about this new insight. The jist of the ‘good eye’ is that Jesus wants us to have generous eyes and outlook. For when we have generous eyes, we see like him, we become lit (pun intended). I heard another sermon on Sunday, that reminded me to have a ‘good eye’. I listened carefully and was thankful for the reminder but I haven’t been thankful for the ways the tests have shown up this week. 

For me, it can be easier for me to have a ‘good eye’ toward a stranger, or a friend I admire. It gets harder to have a ‘good eye’ toward the person who wronged me, or others or whose life decisions I don’t agree with, or the person who I’ve judged as ‘should know better.’ Deep exhale. When I feel wronged I get a tighter grip on things– on my life, on my time, and more. It can be hard to trust that God has also seen the wrong and will take care of it in the best way for both parties. Yet, for me to have a ‘good eye’ I have to trust, I have to let go of the outcome I want. To keep my eye full of light I have to continue to be generous instead of clenching my fist tighter. The closing line of Sunday’s sermon was “Generous eyes don’t just look, they see.”

Something I used to pray that I know I now must return to is, “Lord, help me to see them the way you do.” Despite our yuckiness, sin, rebellion, and everything else, God sees us with eyes of love. He sees humanity through his son. May we not just look but see. 

Photo by Petri Heiskanen on Unsplash