The rate at which marriages break up, the magnitude at which misunderstandings erupt into quarrels, and escalating levels of domestic violence is so alarming. We receive at least three cases every week of grievances among couples.
The people we see indicate broken relationships in terms of communication, dishonesty to the marriage vows, mistrust over resources and lack of mutual understanding. We see many injustices through domestic violence, inequity in sharing of roles, responsibilities and unequal sharing of resources that lead to imbalances in livelihoods. The human brokenness due to sin aggravates our vertical relationship with God and horizontal relationships with others.
An exorbitant bride price that deprives those involved the joy
Having interacted with several cases, we recognize that co-habiting, polygamy or multiple sexual partners have brought agony. Other demands in our culture include an exorbitant bride price that deprives those involved the joy, mutuality and companionship that can be created in a marriage relationship.
The lack of adequate resources is one of the reasons for domestic violence while on the other hand, the more resources the household has can also create similar challenges. But we know that our lives are not defined by what we have but who we are before the God of Justice.
As an elder in the church and through my wife’s work as a Family Therapist, it is quite disheartening for us to see so many people who are church goers struggling in this area. I guess this is a common tragedy experienced all over the world. Satan is on rampage to destroy peace and harmony that would enhance the socio-economic development of families. How do you respond to such injustice situations? Matthew 5:13-16 reminds us of being the salt and light of the world. And we are challenged to be different and relevant at such times.
Robinah and I have lived out our belief that marriage is God ordained for the last 34 years.
Digging deeper into the causes of the agony, suffering, abuse, domestic violence, separation, divorce and children traumatized by witnessing what their parents go through invites the church into more conversations and prayer.
The cases we receive indicate just a tip of an iceberg of a deeper problem. Is marriage a matter of convenience or do couples consider creating deeper relationships? Robinah and I have lived out our belief that marriage is God ordained for the last 34 years.
What should the body of Christ do at such a time like this? First encourage parents to get back to their core business of taking responsibility to bring up children in a Godly manner and in a safe environment. This will intuitively provide security, comfort and help provide focus on what God’s desires.
Furthermore, character is defined as the total sum of who we are and can be developed and nurtured in a safe home environment. This in turn is lived out in lives that are respectful, prosperous, and visionary. In short because God is Holy he is calling us into holy living.
We can be the salt to bring taste to the tasteless relationships and lighten up the way as examples for better living in marriage. Justice lived out, lightens up life challenges and brings taste to the tasteless situations.
Photo by Morgan Alley on Unsplash
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