Over the Hill: Aging, Disability, and Faith

I’m going to turn forty in early September, just after Labour Day. Because I’m a person with multiple disabilities, getting to forty is important for me! I sometimes find that people with temporarily able bodies, even some that I love, make a big deal out of aging. I’m told, “You’re going to find that things slow down. You’ll be less able to do things for yourself.” This might come as a surprise, but I’ve always had to navigate doing things for myself in ways different from most folks, and most of the time I don’t feel like I’m slowing down!

Aging is actually a big deal for me because I’m “over the hill.” That’s another saying that folks in this society have—once you fit into a particular age category, you’re “over the hill.” When people say this, they may be implying that everything goes downhill from “here,” wherever that is, but that can be a good thing. Hills are difficult to climb, especially when you have differences in mobility and balance! So, every hill that I can climb (either up or down, honestly) is a small win. There’s a particular hill by my church, here in Ottawa, which makes me very proud of my capacities. It’s difficult to climb up, because the cars are on my left, but down is easier, because I can use a long iron fence as a reference point.

As I ascend, and come over, part of the hill of aging, who can I trust?

Indeed, while I don’t feel like my life is slowing down, I do feel an increased sense of insecurity as I age. As I ascend, and come over, part of the hill of aging, who can I trust? Where will my next paycheck come from? (I won’t dwell on that part.) Who will love me? Where can I find security in a turbulent and sometimes-bewildering time in human history? I can’t be entirely certain of the answers to those questions, but I have no doubt that Scripture can help.

First of all, who can I trust? I can trust the Lord, and he’s already pointed me to a number of people I can also trust. The sleepless Lord Almighty will not let my foot slip (Psalm 121:3, NIV). Whenever hills are steep, rocky, or wet (an even scarier possibility for me!), I do find them difficult to climb. In any of those cases, I have to stop frequently so that my footing will be sure, and so that I can sense obstacles that may be in or on my way. That said, the wonderful thing I have experienced, as a person with disabilities who has immense social and material privilege, is that people are willing to climb up or down the hill with me. When I’m less able to get groceries or do my laundry, I can call my loved ones, and I can do those things with them. Should I ever be on a steep hill in winter, I have access to cabs or Uber. The one time I successfully portaged over wet rock in Georgian Bay with friends, in July 2015, I was immensely proud of myself because I had kept my balance and not hit my head on part of the Canadian Shield. In the psalmist’s phrase, I lift my eyes up to the hills...and my help comes not only from the sleepless Lord Almighty, but from my family and friends (Psalm 121:1, 121:4, NIV). God’s providence occurs most frequently in my life as a wondrous web of social support.

Aging is correlated to doing God’s will; ascending the hill entails taking care of one’s community, and of the earth around us.

Furthermore, while Jesus doesn’t describe aging in itself in his Gospel teachings and narratives, some of the things he says are also pertinent here. His Passion is somewhat instructive, because of its connections to the Hebrew Exodus. During the Passover, as during other high holidays, Jewish people sang Psalm 113 through 118 together: these songs were called Hallel psalms, or psalms of ascent. According to the Psalmist, these songs were sung by the Hebrew people as they processed up Mount Zion. Jesus and his disciples also likely sang those songs as they celebrated the Passover, even the one the night prior to his death (e.g., Matthew 26:30, Mark 14:26). Thus, even in the insecurity and limited capacities that can (and do!) emerge with aging, people of all abilities can take part in the story God is telling together. I can certainly verify that my process of aging, and addressing the needs of my changing body, is much easier because I can talk, cook, eat, pray, sing, and otherwise engage in fellowship with others.

Finally, the Scriptures have other helpful insights about aging too. The writer of Proverbs indicates that “grey hair is a crown of glory…attained in a righteous life” (Proverbs 16:31, NRSV). Aesthetically speaking, I have to remind myself of that one a lot, because I don’t have much hair on top anymore. That said, in terms of aging, the author of Proverbs is observing that one gains grey hairs by doing righteous things, the things that God wants. Other Scriptural passages corroborate that view: in Genesis 25:8, and in 1 Chronicles 29:28, both Abraham and David are described as meeting the Lord when they are “a good old age”; Abraham is said to be “full of years,” and David full of “days, riches, and honour” (NRSV). So, we can see that, in several places in the biblical text, aging is correlated to doing God’s will; ascending the hill entails taking care of one’s community, and of the earth around us.

So, aging is a process where we can trust God, and where we learn to do what God wants, sometimes despite increased anxiety and weakness. I’m not sure where the next hill is, or how hard it will be to climb. However, I know that I’m on a journey with others, as we ascend the hill of the Lord…and once we get to the top, I hope to sing God’s praises as loudly as I can.

Photo by John Silliman on Unsplash